Vaseline

Enjoy

A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. “I’m doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?”

She said, “Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.”

“If you don’t mind my asking,” he said, “what do you use it for?” “We use it for sex,” she said.

The researcher was a little taken aback. “Usually people lie to me and say they use it on a child’s bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you’ve been so frank so far, can you tell me exactly HOW you use it for sex?”

The woman said, “I don’t mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the doorknob and it keeps the kids out.”

What were you thinking ……..

An oldy, but a goody.

M rated one for you

Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until one day he
comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it.


The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10
years old. It's shiny and in absolute mint condition.

He immediately buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in
such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple really,' says the seller, 'whenever
the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It
protects it from the rain.' (true story)

And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet
her parents. Naturally,they take the bike there.

But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and
says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'

'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first
person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

'No problem,' he says.. and in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room
is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on
the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks.. dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a
word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the
situation.

So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.

So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips
her clothes off, throws her on the table and screws her, right there in
front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously
livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom.

'She's got a great body,' he thinks.

So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, pulls
down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose right there on
the dinner table.

After she has a big orgasm, he sits down again.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, the
Mom is pleasantly beaming. But still.... total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it
starts to rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from
his pocket.

Suddenly the father shouted, 'I'll do the ..######' dishes!!'

Lol. Love the jokes boys.

hahaha thats awesome