Sunday funny

What did sushi A say to sushi B?




Was up B!!!!!

Technically by the time my screen says this was posted it was a Monday Funny, but I wont hold that against you. I'll give you 8 points for the effort though since it appears either others didn't get it or they are still overcoming all their laughter.

It was Sunday its just your on fake time down there!!!! Be carefull acording to the tossers up here your curtains will fade quicker because of daylight saving????

kitch76 said:

It was Sunday its just your on fake time down there!!!! Be carefull acording to the tossers up here your curtains will fade quicker because of daylight saving????

Click to expand...

Oh yeah I forgot you buggers don't get silly time. We go back to normal time next weekend I think so times will actually come back to something close to normal. Getting darker earlier does serve one purpose though, it makes the annoying kids from down the street who like to spend their time playing in other peoples yards or on the road go inside earlier.

We did however learn how to accommodate fading curtains by buying curtains in light colours but I wouldn't expect Queenslanders to figure that out for themselves

Krafty we have been in drought conditions up here, an extra hour of sunlight would cause extra evaporation of water out of the dams, and dry out our lawns a lot quicker.

We don't have the evaporation problem down here, we don't have enough dams to worry about it, our government would rather spend money on a stupid GP than put dams in so that when we do get rain the flood waters have somewhere to go other than out to sea (or through the townships).

I'd be happy if the extra sunshine did dry out my lawn, (well it maybe closer to weeds actually), I only mow it once a month and thats too bloody often, but for some reason all it seems to do is make it grow faster because we do get the odd sprinkle of rain (or downpour).

Silly time or not atleast neither of us are on that ridiculous monkey time they have around the boarder of WA and SA. Heading west to east in summer you can go from afternoon tea (if you're that way inclined) to complete darkness in the space of 2 hours, traveling east to west you can go from lunch time back to breakfast time just by crossing a state border. But then they have very limited lawns out there and no one cares if their curtains fade or not so it doesn't make much difference to them

Back on topic...............

Q: What is the difference between a pussy and a fridge?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A: When you pull your meat out of a fridge it doesn't fart........

Two eggs are boiling in a pot.

One says to the other
"Check out my crack!"

The other says
"Hang on I'm not hard yet!"

Best Irish Joke in a long Time!!!

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off.. He falls flat on his face. 'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face,


'Shoite,


Shoite !'


He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.


'Bi'Jesus.... I'm foockin' foocked,' he says.


He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.. He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No fockin' way'. He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says 'F it' and falls into bed.


The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ?'


Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was pissed. But how'd you know?'


'Mick phoned . . . you left your wheelchair at the pub.'

Paddy is now recovering from being hit by a car from which he received a broken leg, and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.

Mick says, "How's you doin, Paddy?"

Paddy says, "Okay buddy, but do me a favour, run upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing."

Mick goes upstairs and his mouth drops open when he sees Paddy's gorgeous 19 year old twin daughters lying on a bed naked

He says to them, "Hi girls, your dad's sent me up here to have sex with both of you."

One says, "Away with ya, man....yer jokin''! The other says,'' Prove it"!

Mick shouts downstairs, "Paddy, did yer mean both of em?"

Paddy shouts back, "Of course both of em, what's the point of fookin' one???."

What do you get when you have 20 lesbians in one room?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.Liquorland.

Q. What do you call 10 rabbits walking backwards?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
A. A receding hairline