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UP N OVA

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Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one
day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years
old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.

He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such
great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the
Bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It
protects it from the rain.'

And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her
parents. Naturally, they take the bike there..

But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'

'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who
Says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

'No problem,' he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a
Huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the
stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the
situation.

So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.

So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

Still, nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and
her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom..

'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still,
Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to
rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his
pocket...

Suddenly the father shouted....'I'll do the f****** dishes!!!
 
You didn't realise Vaseline had uses outside the bedroom did you Dave :eviltongue:
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Dave memories of that last night we spent together are still a little raw and modesty forbids me to answer
 
I didn't mean last night when you were otherwise occupied with other gentlemen, what happens in Singleton stays in Singleton. I said "that last night".
 
Your secret of what happens any night stays safe with me Dave, I don't kiss and tell and I don't spread those secrets you tell me about the nights you spend with other men.
 
Only your dirty mind would associate to blokes spending a night together having a few drinks as sexual, its no wonder you can't bring the Vaseline out of the bedroom
 
Wow a side of the forum i never thought id see hahahahahah. Great joke by the way
 
Last edited:
It's all Dave's fault, he corrupted me because he has uses for vaseline that others can only dream about.
 

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