Subject: Give Generously

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titanium man

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Subject: Give Generously





Collingwood flood victims need assistance - Please Give Generously

Torrential rain hit Collingwood in the early hours of last night.

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, flannies soaked, woollen
trackies sagging, muttering 'Faaackinell'.

Flood waters devastated the area causing approximately $30 worth of
damage.

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were
woken well before their Centrelink cheques arrived.

The Collingwood Herald reported that hundreds of residents were confused
and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that
something interesting had happened in Smith St ..

One resident - Tracy Maree Sharon Britney Madonna Smith, a 15-year-old
mother of 5 said 'It was such a shock, my little daughter
Chardonnay-Mercedes came running in to my bedroom crying. My youngest
two Joachim and River slept through it all.'

Apparently, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried
on as normal.

The Australian Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of
Bacardi-Breezers to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers
are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities
of personal belongings, including Health Care Cards, Jewellery from
Kmart and Bone China from Big W.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
sought after - items most needed include: flannelette Shirts, tight blue
jeans or spandex, singlets (blue & white) white sport socks, Ugg boots
and any other items usually sold in Priceline or The Reject Shop.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs urgently needed include: Microwave meals, Baked
Beans, Ice cream, Chips, Fizzy drinks.

Donations of $ 25 ..00 will be taken to buy a packet of Winny blue 25s
and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

GIVE GENEROUSLY !!!
 
I remember hearing that when Windale got hit by a big storm I think it was.

Its always good for a laugh though.
 
[YT]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVjxGJLYHkk[/YT]

It wasn't a storm, it was a Earthquake.

It was done by NXFM.
 
More so this pertains to Collingwood supporters in Narre Warren and Berwick.
Have you seen the property prices in Collingwood? But that ruins the joke doesn't it ....

Collingwood Supports Jokes....

Last year when the pies won the Grand Final a Lady from the affluent suburb of Brighton noticed a strange and embarrassing phenomena. Every time she sat down and didn't cros her legs she could hear "Good old Collingwood forever...".
Worried by this she sought the opinion of her Gynaecologist.
So there she sat in the stirrups with a raucous rendition of the Collingwood Anthem belting out.
The Gynacologist nodded knowingly and reassured her that it wasn't anything to worry about. " Theres alot of C#$%'s singing that at the moment"
Boom Boom.

The Royal Melbourne show was held during the AFL finals last year. It was a right off because they couldn't get anyone to run the rides or the sideshows.

Q. Two Collingwood supporters jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.

Q. What does a Collingwood supporter use as a contraceptive?
A. His personality.

Q. What does a Collingwood supporter use as protection during sex?
A. Bus shelter.

Q. What do you say to a Collingwood supporter with a job?
A. Big Mac please.

Q. If you are driving and you see a Collingwood supporter on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.

You know you're a Collingwood supporter when:
1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife does.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
5. You think 'loaded dishwasher' means your wife is drunk.
6. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
 
at least we dont have a F####N sook for a captain...aka Riewold the cokhead..
god i wana smash him everytime i see his ugly head on tv or the papers..
very closely followed by millny....anthor total F#####t..

pies for ANOTHER flag this year...
suffer all you pies haters.....hahahahahahaha
 
What's the difference between a dead pig in the middle of the road and a dead Collingwood supporter in the middle of the road?

There's skid marks before the pig.
 
OOOOHHHHHH touched a nerve!
Best keep this thread alive! :devil: :big_smile:

I work with 2 of them and they are insufferable during the season.....

nah you didnt,im just making my feelings known about St.Kilda,the entire club is a disgrace to the afl.
i would LOVE TO SEE THEM THROWN OUT OF THE AFL..
and for wanting to smash rivolting and milny,i hate the pricks..

as heta said... we dont give a crap what you think of collingwood...
your all just WANABEES....:rock:
 
at least we dont have a F####N sook for a captain...aka Riewold the cokhead..
god i wana smash him everytime i see his ugly head on tv or the papers..
very closely followed by millny....anthor total F#####t..

pies for ANOTHER flag this year...
suffer all you pies haters.....hahahahahahaha

i've always been wondering what is the best adjective for Riewold, sook, that certainly sums it up. Pretty good player, but he is a tosser. Actually, thinking about it, he can take a good pack mark, but thats about it, can't kick for shite.
 
good to see you r with me here simonk8...
did u see in todays papers that captain sook himself told a female supporter,a mother with her young daughter to F##k off....
and people wonder why we despise the tossers...
tear both hammys this year and do us all a favour and keep your ugly head off the TV..
GO PIES...
 
good to see you r with me here simonk8...
did u see in todays papers that captain sook himself told a female supporter,a mother with her young daughter to F##k off....

Actually, as much as I don't like Roo, that's not the full story.

He was out to dinner with the team, after LOOSING the final. He noticed a lady from a far taking photos, so he asked her to stop. After asking her several times to stop, he lost his shit and told her where to go.

Doesn't really justify his actions, but you can kinda' see where his coming from? Footy players are like celebs, they will need to get used to the attention.

On a finishing note, CARN THE TIGERS!! :rock:
 
Dammit all this Collingwood hatred can only mean one thing, another 8 months of football is about to start, oh well atleast it give's Melbournians something to talk about.
 
A professer has made an invention. A chair that when lied to, the seat opens up the man or woman on the chair fall through to whatever is underneath.
He wants to test this and as It is Prelim night, (Friday) and the Dockers are playing Collingwood, the professer collects three fans to tst the chair. One is a Collingwood fan, one Fremantle and the other Geelong (after seeing his team get polaxed by Freo the Friday night before he is interested and drawn to freos playing style).
The professer explains what the chair does, and asks the supporters to state whats on their mind. The Fremantle fan hops on and says "I think we are still a chance of the flag" And since Freo are in the prelim, of course they are. Hence the chair does nothing. The Geelong supporter hops on and say "Last weeks lost was an upset loss to Fremantle". And it was. Nothing happens. Then the Collingwood supporter hops on and says."I think" and the chair opens up.
 
Eddie McGuire is walking down the stairs of the Westpac Centre with Nathan and Tania Buckley. All of a sudden Tania slips and her head gets caught between the rails. While she is there Nathan takes the opportunity to give her a good rogering. After he finishes Nathan looks at Eddie and says, "Your turn Ed". Ed looks at him and tears start to roll down his face. Nathan asks, "What's up Ed?", to which Eddie replies, "I don't think my head will fit between the rails"
 
It's unfair to pick on Collingwood and their supporters all the time, most of them didn't have the attention span to get past line 4 of the first post.
 

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