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A Collingwood girl walks into the local dry cleaners.
She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the worker, cupping his ear.
"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."
 
titanium man said:
A Collingwood girl walks into the local dry cleaners.
She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the worker, cupping his ear.
"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."
Click to expand...

NOT BAD..you must spend all your time researching the net for these...
 
i dont forget bets,win or loose....
like some tossers that owe me 40 slabs of VB.and another that owes me $1000...both that i will never see....
what do you expect from a bombers and a saints supporter....
and people have the nerve to bag collingwood supporters,at least i pay my loosing bets...rare as they might be..lol
 
A family of Collingwood supporters heads out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting.
While in Rebel Sports the son picks up a Geelong footy jumper and says
to his 10 year old sister, "Hey mole, I've decided to become aGeelong
supporter and I want this for Christmas".

His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him around the head with
her carton of Winfield's and says, "Dic#head, go talk to mum".
Off goes the little lad with the Geelong jumper stuffed up his miller shirt and finds his mum.

"Mum?"

"Yes son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be a Geelong supporter and I want this jumper for Christmas".

The mother is outraged at this and throws her moccasins and a
fullstubbie of VB at him, smacks him in the gob and says "Let's go talk
to your father!"

Off they go to the prison camp during visiting hours, with footy jumper in hand and find Moose, his toothless tattooed father.

"Dad?"

"Yes, Knackers?"

"I've decided I'm going to be a Geelong supporter and I want this jumper for Christmas".

Moose goes berserk and gives his son an almighty backhander and says,
"No bastard of mine is ever going to be seen wearing that shit!", and
then kicks his arse from one end of the rec-room to the other, just for
good measure.
About half an hour later they're all back in the old Falcon and heading
towards home. The mother turns to her son and says,"Knackers, have you
learned something today?"

The son says "Bloody oath I have!"

"Good Knackers, what is it?"

The son replies,

"I've only been a Geelong supporter for a day, and already I hate you Collingwood pricks!”
 
Eddie is on a major recruitment drive, no part of the world is left untouched.

In Iran he finds a 16 year old, 208cm, 95kg can leap like a roo and catch like Mark Waugh, fantastic ball skills with a soccer ball. Eddie figures he’s worth taking back to Melbourne to retrain as a centre half forward.

The kid does the pre-season and takes to the game like a fish to water. trains hard and is improving with each practice session.

Round 5 comes around the ANZAC day clash with Essendon. The kid is named on the bench. Halfway through the last quarter the Pies are 38 points down and gone. Eddie goes to Malthouse and begs him to give the kid a go. Mick shrugs, he’s got nothing to lose.

7 goals in the last 8 minutes and Ahmed is chaired from the ground, a hero.

After it all settles down he decides to call his mother to tell her the good news. “That’s wonderful Ahmed” she replies, “my day hasn’t been quite as good as yours. Firstly your Father has been arrested for suspicion of terrorism, your younger sister was raped on her way to the Mosque and I was beaten up coming back from the shops by a group of fanatics”

“Oh mum” Ahmed says with tears coming down his face, “I wish Mr McGuire never bought the family to live with me in Collingwood”
 
Nick Maxwell's girlfriend gets home to him jumping around celebrating and shouting "43 days, 43 days!"
She asks him why he is celebrating, and Nick tells her that its how long it took him to finish a jigsaw puzzle.
"Thats a good thing?" she asks.
"You bet!" replies Nick. "It says between 3 to 6 years on the box!"
 
You've just got a joke book that your adding the name Collingwood into to make the jokes run the same theme. Most of these joke have been around longer than Collingwood supporters have been toothless, thong wearing VB drinkers collecting Centerlink payments.
 

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