If you can't find an accessories-active power source in the IPDM/ER (it's the box behind the battery) then here's an alternative.
Connect a wire to the accessories-active power under your dash and put a 2A fuse in it. Run this wire through the firewall into the engine bay and connect it to pin 85 of a relay. Connect pin 86 of the relay to the battery negative, pin 30 to battery positive (with a 40A fuse in that cable) and then use pin 87 to supply power to whatever (including other relays).
The result will be that ANY device you try to activate will only work when the ignition key is turned to "Accessories" or "On".
Is that what you were after?