RLI
Member
Wow, thats serious shit there going on.... and nice to know you can share your thoughts (light or dark) with us all here.
hope Coopernook does your mind and body a world of good...
Jim.
Thanks mate,
Regards,
RLI (Paul)
Get well soon RLI
- Thread starter scottybobcat
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Thanks mate,
Regards,
RLI (Paul)
RLI
Member
A special thanks to all!
G,evening folks,
Firstly, I would like thank you all for your kind words of support.
As previously stated, the last seven weeks of my life have been a total nightmare. I have always held the view that taking one’s life (suicide) was the easy way out. I now know firsthand how an individual can fall into this terrible void of total hopeless and despair.
Three weeks ago after my forth operation, I was in tremendous pain and in a serious world of hurt. I did not want my wife and children continuingly seeing me suffering the way I was. If I had access to a firearm then, I would have taken my life.
At that time in my life i have never felt so depressed, lonely and totally incapacitated and worthless as a human being. Even though I have a beautiful wife and two beautiful little girls and a great bunch of mates/friends. I just wanted to end the misery for my family and friends so they could get on with there lifes.
My stupid logic was that financially due to my military service, my service pension, superannuation and other benefits that the Army provided me would have set my wife and children up for a secure future.
So far I have had six operations in seven weeks. This time fingers crossed the pain is now falling under control. Once again thanks for your kind words of support. I am shocked that people that i have never met can show so much kindness and support.
PS, I have to give a specially mention to both Old Tony and Scotty Bobcat who have kept in contact with both my wife and myself during this horrid crisis period. They have aided in keeping my morale up when I was extremely vulnerable.
Also a special thanks to senior member Redgie for his kind words of wisdom.
It was fantastic catching up with Tony & Helen at Coopernook on Saturday, my father-inlaw and i were humbled by their hospatality.
One last thought, if any of you ever feel the need to give up on life, please call a friend, life-line, beyond blue or me!
Regards,
RLI (Paul
G,evening folks,
Firstly, I would like thank you all for your kind words of support.
As previously stated, the last seven weeks of my life have been a total nightmare. I have always held the view that taking one’s life (suicide) was the easy way out. I now know firsthand how an individual can fall into this terrible void of total hopeless and despair.
Three weeks ago after my forth operation, I was in tremendous pain and in a serious world of hurt. I did not want my wife and children continuingly seeing me suffering the way I was. If I had access to a firearm then, I would have taken my life.
At that time in my life i have never felt so depressed, lonely and totally incapacitated and worthless as a human being. Even though I have a beautiful wife and two beautiful little girls and a great bunch of mates/friends. I just wanted to end the misery for my family and friends so they could get on with there lifes.
My stupid logic was that financially due to my military service, my service pension, superannuation and other benefits that the Army provided me would have set my wife and children up for a secure future.
So far I have had six operations in seven weeks. This time fingers crossed the pain is now falling under control. Once again thanks for your kind words of support. I am shocked that people that i have never met can show so much kindness and support.
PS, I have to give a specially mention to both Old Tony and Scotty Bobcat who have kept in contact with both my wife and myself during this horrid crisis period. They have aided in keeping my morale up when I was extremely vulnerable.
Also a special thanks to senior member Redgie for his kind words of wisdom.
It was fantastic catching up with Tony & Helen at Coopernook on Saturday, my father-inlaw and i were humbled by their hospatality.
One last thought, if any of you ever feel the need to give up on life, please call a friend, life-line, beyond blue or me!
Regards,
RLI (Paul
scottybobcat
2014 muster sponsor
Keep your spirits high Paul.I havn't stopped thinking about you mate. I hope you are in the best of care now that you are in QLD and getting what you need. Don't hesitate to give me a call mate. Text me your number at the hospital. Thinking of you and the family mate. Scotty
Biscuits
Ginger Ninja.
Has something changed, is be back in hospital?
scottybobcat
2014 muster sponsor
Yeah biscuits Paul isn't in a good way.He has been transferred to a private hospital in Qld. They are doing alot more tests and probably another operation.
Biscuits
Ginger Ninja.
Wow, terrible.
RLI, me and my little family are hoping that you recover and get well without to much pain, you have bought us many laughs and i'm sure will bring us many more
RLI, me and my little family are hoping that you recover and get well without to much pain, you have bought us many laughs and i'm sure will bring us many more
nakedape
Member
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Life is about perspective isn't it. Here I was thinking that I was having a shitty week (quick trip to A&E sunday night) - then you read that Paul's troubles have him back in hospital again!
We'll be thinking of you and yours in the lead up to Xmas. Let's hope you kick it this time!
N
We'll be thinking of you and yours in the lead up to Xmas. Let's hope you kick it this time!
N
Paul is not doing well, I spoke to him Monday afternoon just before he was transferred up to the hospital and the meeting I was in dragged on longer than it should have - I was going to get back to him but by the time I was free, it was 9:30pm.
Ally's going to get in touch with us soon to let us know how he's going.
Ally's going to get in touch with us soon to let us know how he's going.
scottybobcat
2014 muster sponsor
Paul is waiting on test results and the Dr's think he may have Chrones disease. Pauls spirits are a little higher but as Ally said to me he has lost his spunk. I'm sure as things progress he will get his mojo back and be the Paul we all know and have become to appreciate amd respect.
RLI
Member
More Operations
G,day folks,
My health continues to deteriorate (I feel like a one legged man in an arse kicking competition!).
Since my last e-mail I have had a further two more operations up my guzzats! (Arse to you uncouth individuals.)
I try my best to maintain my sense of humour; however, at times I have suffered serve depression and felt like I have fallen into a bottomless void (like falling into a dark canyon, knowing there is no way out.)
At present I have been transferred to Greenslopes Hospital in Brisbane, QLD. Hopefully the specialist up here can help me find answers to what is causing my problem. Will keep you informed.
PS, Thanks for your thoughts!
RLI (Paul)
G,evening folks,
Firstly, I would like thank you all for your kind words of support.
As previously stated, the last seven weeks of my life have been a total nightmare. I have always held the view that taking one’s life (suicide) was the easy way out. I now know firsthand how an individual can fall into this terrible void of total hopeless and despair.
Three weeks ago after my forth operation, I was in tremendous pain and in a serious world of hurt. I did not want my wife and children continuingly seeing me suffering the way I was. If I had access to a firearm then, I would have taken my life.
At that time in my life i have never felt so depressed, lonely and totally incapacitated and worthless as a human being. Even though I have a beautiful wife and two beautiful little girls and a great bunch of mates/friends. I just wanted to end the misery for my family and friends so they could get on with there lifes.
My stupid logic was that financially due to my military service, my service pension, superannuation and other benefits that the Army provided me would have set my wife and children up for a secure future.
So far I have had six operations in seven weeks. This time fingers crossed the pain is now falling under control. Once again thanks for your kind words of support. I am shocked that people that i have never met can show so much kindness and support.
PS, I have to give a specially mention to both Old Tony and Scotty Bobcat who have kept in contact with both my wife and myself during this horrid crisis period. They have aided in keeping my morale up when I was extremely vulnerable.
Also a special thanks to senior member Redgie for his kind words of wisdom.
It was fantastic catching up with Tony & Helen at Coopernook on Saturday, my father-inlaw and i were humbled by their hospatality.
One last thought, if any of you ever feel the need to give up on life, please call a friend, life-line, beyond blue or me!
Regards,
RLI (Paul
G,day folks,
My health continues to deteriorate (I feel like a one legged man in an arse kicking competition!).
Since my last e-mail I have had a further two more operations up my guzzats! (Arse to you uncouth individuals.)
I try my best to maintain my sense of humour; however, at times I have suffered serve depression and felt like I have fallen into a bottomless void (like falling into a dark canyon, knowing there is no way out.)
At present I have been transferred to Greenslopes Hospital in Brisbane, QLD. Hopefully the specialist up here can help me find answers to what is causing my problem. Will keep you informed.
PS, Thanks for your thoughts!
RLI (Paul)
Mate, it's good to see you on here. Sorry about the other night, things went way longer than expected and I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to call late at night. We'll have to catch up soon.
Keep your spirits up, I know that's easier said than done but my wife and I wish you all the best and hope you can get on the road to recovery now.
Keep your spirits up, I know that's easier said than done but my wife and I wish you all the best and hope you can get on the road to recovery now.
04SilverSTR
Member
Not good news at all!! Although if it is chrones the good news it is manageable as a good friend of mine has it.
Hope things get better for you soon paul!
Bryan
Hope things get better for you soon paul!
Bryan
Thats no good Paul. I really hope that the QLD doctor's are able to get you some answers, and get you on the road to a speedy recovery.
Its good that you are willing to share your thoughts about how you are feeling. I now know how hard it can be for people to talk about there problems.
My father is a Vietnam vet and a few years back his health got pretty bad, he then started dreaming that he was back fighting again this was brought on by post traumatic stress. The trouble was he never spoke to us about it, so we never new that he was in such despair.
It all become to much for him and he went into his garage, shut all the windows and doors and turned on his motor bike.
lucky for him and all of us who love him, his wife had forgotten something and returned home. She new something was wrong when she herd the bike and raced in to find my dad unconscious.
A ambulance arrived and revived him, he was then raced off to hospital, where he spent hrs in a hyperbaric chamber.
This was so hard for us to understand as we just never new how trapped in the black hole dad felt. He told us later that he just felt that there was no way out for him, and that ending it all seemed like the only way to stop his suffering.
I find it so sad . I thought i was allot closer to dad and i should of known that things were as bad as they were. In one way it has brought my 3 siblings and i closer to dad, which im very grateful.
Dad has since made a great recovery with allot of help from the doctors and veteran affairs (they were able to help dad find the help he really needed)
I am so glad that i still have my father around to watch my son grow up, and that my son has is pop to learn from as i did.
Just wanted to share that with everyone especially Paul. Mate you are not alone in feeling like you have no way out, as im sure you know so many in fact to many people have been where you were but never got help in time.
Like you said if we ever feel the need to talk just find a mate or some family, or just anyone and tell them what is going on.
Wishing you all the very best Paul.
Regards, Nath
Its good that you are willing to share your thoughts about how you are feeling. I now know how hard it can be for people to talk about there problems.
My father is a Vietnam vet and a few years back his health got pretty bad, he then started dreaming that he was back fighting again this was brought on by post traumatic stress. The trouble was he never spoke to us about it, so we never new that he was in such despair.
It all become to much for him and he went into his garage, shut all the windows and doors and turned on his motor bike.
lucky for him and all of us who love him, his wife had forgotten something and returned home. She new something was wrong when she herd the bike and raced in to find my dad unconscious.
A ambulance arrived and revived him, he was then raced off to hospital, where he spent hrs in a hyperbaric chamber.
This was so hard for us to understand as we just never new how trapped in the black hole dad felt. He told us later that he just felt that there was no way out for him, and that ending it all seemed like the only way to stop his suffering.
I find it so sad . I thought i was allot closer to dad and i should of known that things were as bad as they were. In one way it has brought my 3 siblings and i closer to dad, which im very grateful.
Dad has since made a great recovery with allot of help from the doctors and veteran affairs (they were able to help dad find the help he really needed)
I am so glad that i still have my father around to watch my son grow up, and that my son has is pop to learn from as i did.
Just wanted to share that with everyone especially Paul. Mate you are not alone in feeling like you have no way out, as im sure you know so many in fact to many people have been where you were but never got help in time.
Like you said if we ever feel the need to talk just find a mate or some family, or just anyone and tell them what is going on.
Wishing you all the very best Paul.
Regards, Nath
Last edited:
I spoke with Paul again this evening. They're still conducting tests on him, he is scheduled for more surgery on Monday, but they're close to a resolution now. He is feeling much better at the moment and is actually spending the weekend at home.
He should know what the outcome will be within the next couple of weeks.
My wife and I wish him all the very best.
He should know what the outcome will be within the next couple of weeks.
My wife and I wish him all the very best.
K
Krankin
Guest
G,day folks,
My health continues to deteriorate (I feel like a one legged man in an arse kicking competition!).
Since my last e-mail I have had a further two more operations up my guzzats! (Arse to you uncouth individuals.)
I try my best to maintain my sense of humour; however, at times I have suffered serve depression and felt like I have fallen into a bottomless void (like falling into a dark canyon, knowing there is no way out.)
At present I have been transferred to Greenslopes Hospital in Brisbane, QLD. Hopefully the specialist up here can help me find answers to what is causing my problem. Will keep you informed.
PS, Thanks for your thoughts!
RLI (Paul)
Hang in there 'dig', you can do it....were all behind you
RLI
Member
Kind thanks:
G,day Nath,
So sorry to hear about your fathers PTSD. I hope he has sought help from both the RSL (Pensions and welfare officers) in your area.
If not i am hoping to be back on deck in Jan 2012. I am a pensions officer at the Woolgoolga RSL Sub-Branch in NSW. If your dad needs help contact me ASAP.
Thanks for your kind response.
Regards,
RLI (Paul)
G,day Nath,
So sorry to hear about your fathers PTSD. I hope he has sought help from both the RSL (Pensions and welfare officers) in your area.
If not i am hoping to be back on deck in Jan 2012. I am a pensions officer at the Woolgoolga RSL Sub-Branch in NSW. If your dad needs help contact me ASAP.
Thanks for your kind response.
Regards,
RLI (Paul)
RLI
Member
Hang in there 'dig', you can do it....were all behind you
Thanks Krankin,
The mind can do funny things to person in cronicin pain. However, people can help suffering by just commmuicating simple words, like that has been stated on this and other theads.
Regards,
RLI (Paul)
RLI
Member
G'evening Bryan,
Thanks for your kind comments. I hope to know in a week or so, whether i have full blown Chrones dease.
Regards,
RLI (Paul)
RLI
Member
G, evening Scotty,
Thanks for your support and friendship mate, even though I have not met you!
Sometimes people are great at stereo typing people, but I know there is goodness in your heart. So fuck the negitive people out off your life!
Regards,
RLI (Paul)
RLI
Member
G, evening Brad,
Sorry for responding late to your repsonse!
My wife advised me today that my D40 has been delivered by the panel beaters. Apparently it looks brand new. All new ARB gear re-installed and the car was a total respray.
I cannot wait to see the old girl, as soon as I get my diagnosis and my treatment is squared away in Brisbane, then I can head home. I hope I am home before Christmas!
PS, I sincerely hope you and your family have a safe and happy Christmas and prosperous New Year!
Regards,
RLI (Paul)
